Jake's first Christmas

Well that's that then. Christmas done and dusted for another year. To be honest I thought he'd be completely none the wiser but I do think he got something from it. Firstly the presents, he was obviously a very lucky boy to get all the stuff he got, lots of nice soft toys and things for his bedroom which will all stimulate his senses and help him develop his coordination. He also seemed to like the wrapping paper. I think next year he'll enjoy the paper and the boxes and then the year after he'll be really into it and that's when the fun will properly begin. My two nieces are 3 and a half and 1 and a half and whilst present opening is carnage it is wonderful to see how excited and happy they are. I joke with my sister that 'it's all about the kids', but it really is and Christmas is going to get better and better from now on.

We had a lovely time but probably did too much. Christmas day started at home, loading up the car and going to my parents for breakfast which gave us an opportunity to partially empty the car of presents, only to replace them with many more before going to Clare's parents for the main event. I went home from Epsom to Guildford to feed the cat and dump some stuff so I could go back to Epsom to pick up wife and child (and more presents) so we could go back to my parents for Boxing day....then on Saturday we took everything home, dumped it before travelling up to Hertfordshire for an annual post Christmas walk and pub / soup / drinks event. Then on Sunday we had an easier journey to Esher for a semi reunion with some old school friends. It was nice to get home and do absolutely nothing for a while before coming back to work.

Jake was obviously mr. pass the parcel and on the whole seemed to like meeting his cousins and auntie and uncle and other family friends and I think it did him good....lots of people leave their babies in quarantine for the first six months which I don't think is good for them but more importantly sends their parents mad...staring at four walls for too long is not a good thing. I'm really pleased that we've carried on with our lives as much as we have and I hope it will make Jake a bit more independent. Judging by how happy he was in the arms of people he'd never met before I think he's on the right path. Clingy babies do my head in and I'm sure it's a result of rods being made for new parents' backs.

Anyway it was a really nice, if tiring break and now the countdown is on to the New Year and the Jakesters' op on the 15th of January. Then we're thinking about a winter sun holiday and weighing up the distance we're prepared to travel with how hot we want it to be is a bit tricky.

Also congrats to Ben, Malos and Anna who got the Godparent gig; very worthy winners! It's always hard choosing the candidates and you have to leave some people out but we plan on having more kids so there will (hopefully) but more slots available in the future!

Here are some Christmas pics

Christmas

Well it's been quite a while since the last entry as I've started to develop a condition which combines writer's block, man-flu, apathy and denial!

Basically this blog was a reaction to how I felt and continued to feel throughout the not-knowing period between getting the news of the cleft and meeting Jake. The blog then developed into a more factual, less emotional vehicle to express our ongoing feelings and now I guess it feels more of a diary. And diaries are things which are often left to deteriorate without the proper motivation. I remember 3 different years when I was growing up where I resolved to keep a diary and always by June the entries started to get shorter and messier until in the end they stopped altogether as if the year in question immediately preceded the Apocalypse.

It's all about motivation you see. Initially the motivation was a by-product of necessity. I desparately needed to get all the crap in my head out and cathartic as that was, it had its own by-product which was a kind of newsletter for friends and family to learn about the situation. The motivation continued as we got more news, learned more and had feedback about the blog. So it became cyclical. Of course now the cleft is no more an issue (to us at least) than a funny birth mark or weird shaped head from the Ventouse, the motivation to tell everyone that 'we're cool with it all' goes away. Everyone's met our little man and no one's reacted badly to seeing the cleft and whilst I wouldn't expect them to, even if they felt differently inside, I like to think that the blog, which many of our f & f have seen may have taught a few things to a few people. I don't mean that arrogantly, but I found it useful so perhaps others have too.

Also, Jake is impossibly cute and has such a lovely nature and personality (not so much at 4am though) and this helps us along nicely.

I did, however commit to keeping this blog going until at least until after the second op and for Jake's sake (!) I must get over my laziness and realise that a promise is a promise. Plus I think it'll be an interesting read back in 5,10 and 20 years' time.

So the poor little thing has had mild bronchilitus, which has been going round his NCT pals but it wasn't deemed serious enough to keep him in hospital, unlike one of the others. Baby Callum who was born 6 weeks early and spent a lot of time in hospital then, returned for a week with the infection and must be completely sick of the place by now. Anyway Jake is getting over this first illness and whilst it's horrible to hear him rattling and wheezing it might help him develop his immune system. Unlike his Dad, that is, who now has classic, full blown man-flu.

I went out with the other halves from the NCT group last week and we all had a fair few pints and a great night....despite my initial misgivings this was the best thing we could have done, the lads are all good guys and Clare is great friends with all her lot too.

We're looking forward to Jake's first Christmas very much and I think every Christmas from now on will just get better and better until he become a cynical teenager!

There will be a lot of photos going up soon, including one of Jake wearing his first Arsenal kit, a gift from uncle Malos....it's funny but when you see someone else's baby in football wear it just looks awful and chavvy and pikey but when it's your own it looks very cute indeed. I don't think he'll leave the house in it, but it does make for some good photos!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Another best friend for Jake is brewing!

This was the one I couldn't tell you about. However the news is now official that my godson, Noah will be getting a baby bro or sis next May. Massive congrats to Ben, Candy and Noah. Ben's my best mate and our parents are great friends too so I can't wait to carry that tradition onto the next generation. Awesome news. Happy Friday!

Jake's new girlfriend

So Jake has a potential girlfriend on the horizon. Aniela Sarah Leyland was born on the 13th of November at 5.20am weighing in at 8lb 8oz. Huge congratulations to Mark and Julia on the birth of their beautiful daughter and also to Ethan who now has a sister to look after / boss about / go out with her friends etc!

The babies are coming thick and fast now and it's nice to see life reassuringly cycle on. Cliches are only cliches because they're true and we see them time and time again and although some people venture off at tangents (and good luck to them), many of us do tread a well worn path which takes us from early (and mid for some) twenties hedonistic, carefree lifestyles to a honeymoon period followed by a little 'settling down' and finally into parenthood and all that that entails. I'm keen that this part of my life doesn't turn me into a polo neck wearing sad bastard but I am enjoying it immensely, despite the lack of sleep. When you get married you become validated as a couple and it seems when you have a child you feel validated as a grown up, someone worthy of a child and deemed responsible enough to look after it. It's a good feeling. Despite the lack of sleep.

It brings me on to a horrible subject from the news over the last two weeks. The case of baby P who was tortured by his mum, partner and lodger. It wasn't just a case of malnourishment or neglect; it was actual torture. I would have been shocked before but since having Jake it actually made me feel nauseous to read about it all. The worst thing is that a jury or judge wouldn't be able to find anyone of these arseholes guilty of delivering the final blow which killed the baby and therefore they cannot be charged with murder. I have a friend who works in adoption and the process is very lengthy and onerous as you would expect and it's terrible to think that perfectly wonderful childless couples have to go through hell to adopt but fucked up evil people like this are able to procreate and abuse their children under the noses of the social services. I'm a little right wing and for most people I think prison is a decent punishment as it gives them time to regret although I can never decide if I'd like to see some eye-for-an-eye retribution delivered. So I have to weigh up the fact that, whilst satisfying, this would end the suffering of the perpetrator whilst the victims families continue to suffer, against the cost of keeping them in prison. In this case, however I'd happily throw the last stone and see these monsters ended for good. And if that makes me as bad as them so be it.

On to happier things now as Jake's official head wetting takes place this weekend. I love this tradition. Just as Valentine's is a commercial opportunity which hides behind a tradition of love, a head wetting ceremony is purely an excuse for blokes to get away and get lashed up. I'm sure there's tales of yore which involve the child being present and wine or similar is poured over the its head to ward off the evil spirits or something but let's not clown around here, we're going out to get pissed! Anyway I'm looking forward to it but am slightly nervous as it's an early start and although I like a drink I haven't got properly drunk in almost 3 months so it could get messy.

Jake is now almost 13 pounds, double his birth weight. Good boy!

Jake's new best friend

Henry Willem Smith was born at 2.30pm on the 11th of November to Rob and Milly. Congratualtions to all three of them. He weighed in at a very respectable 8lbs 10oz and mother and baby are doing well. It's great for Jake to have a friend round the corner and I'm sure those two will get up to all sorts.

They're shortly to be joined by another little boy or girl from Weybridge when our friend Julia gives birth and then next February, the three of them will have another friend in baby Tulloch. I can't wait until there's a little gang. Growing up my parents had 4 sets of friends who all had a baby girl within the same year, followed a couple of years later by a boy and we had some brilliant Christmasses and holidays together. Also I've known my best friend all my life and we spent as much time together as possible growing up. It always felt cooler to have a best mate that wasn't necessarily someone I went to school with. It me anticipate the school holidays and the odd weekend with all the more excitement. Good memories come from those special occasions and all these families lived quite some distance apart, so to have this lot on the doorstep should be brilliant.

There's also another baby brewing, which I can't mention yet but one that I'm very excited about. This time next year is going to be a very busy and noisy time! Happy days.

I love Jake's t shirt in this picture.