Christmas

Well it's been quite a while since the last entry as I've started to develop a condition which combines writer's block, man-flu, apathy and denial!

Basically this blog was a reaction to how I felt and continued to feel throughout the not-knowing period between getting the news of the cleft and meeting Jake. The blog then developed into a more factual, less emotional vehicle to express our ongoing feelings and now I guess it feels more of a diary. And diaries are things which are often left to deteriorate without the proper motivation. I remember 3 different years when I was growing up where I resolved to keep a diary and always by June the entries started to get shorter and messier until in the end they stopped altogether as if the year in question immediately preceded the Apocalypse.

It's all about motivation you see. Initially the motivation was a by-product of necessity. I desparately needed to get all the crap in my head out and cathartic as that was, it had its own by-product which was a kind of newsletter for friends and family to learn about the situation. The motivation continued as we got more news, learned more and had feedback about the blog. So it became cyclical. Of course now the cleft is no more an issue (to us at least) than a funny birth mark or weird shaped head from the Ventouse, the motivation to tell everyone that 'we're cool with it all' goes away. Everyone's met our little man and no one's reacted badly to seeing the cleft and whilst I wouldn't expect them to, even if they felt differently inside, I like to think that the blog, which many of our f & f have seen may have taught a few things to a few people. I don't mean that arrogantly, but I found it useful so perhaps others have too.

Also, Jake is impossibly cute and has such a lovely nature and personality (not so much at 4am though) and this helps us along nicely.

I did, however commit to keeping this blog going until at least until after the second op and for Jake's sake (!) I must get over my laziness and realise that a promise is a promise. Plus I think it'll be an interesting read back in 5,10 and 20 years' time.

So the poor little thing has had mild bronchilitus, which has been going round his NCT pals but it wasn't deemed serious enough to keep him in hospital, unlike one of the others. Baby Callum who was born 6 weeks early and spent a lot of time in hospital then, returned for a week with the infection and must be completely sick of the place by now. Anyway Jake is getting over this first illness and whilst it's horrible to hear him rattling and wheezing it might help him develop his immune system. Unlike his Dad, that is, who now has classic, full blown man-flu.

I went out with the other halves from the NCT group last week and we all had a fair few pints and a great night....despite my initial misgivings this was the best thing we could have done, the lads are all good guys and Clare is great friends with all her lot too.

We're looking forward to Jake's first Christmas very much and I think every Christmas from now on will just get better and better until he become a cynical teenager!

There will be a lot of photos going up soon, including one of Jake wearing his first Arsenal kit, a gift from uncle Malos....it's funny but when you see someone else's baby in football wear it just looks awful and chavvy and pikey but when it's your own it looks very cute indeed. I don't think he'll leave the house in it, but it does make for some good photos!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Another best friend for Jake is brewing!

This was the one I couldn't tell you about. However the news is now official that my godson, Noah will be getting a baby bro or sis next May. Massive congrats to Ben, Candy and Noah. Ben's my best mate and our parents are great friends too so I can't wait to carry that tradition onto the next generation. Awesome news. Happy Friday!

Jake's new girlfriend

So Jake has a potential girlfriend on the horizon. Aniela Sarah Leyland was born on the 13th of November at 5.20am weighing in at 8lb 8oz. Huge congratulations to Mark and Julia on the birth of their beautiful daughter and also to Ethan who now has a sister to look after / boss about / go out with her friends etc!

The babies are coming thick and fast now and it's nice to see life reassuringly cycle on. Cliches are only cliches because they're true and we see them time and time again and although some people venture off at tangents (and good luck to them), many of us do tread a well worn path which takes us from early (and mid for some) twenties hedonistic, carefree lifestyles to a honeymoon period followed by a little 'settling down' and finally into parenthood and all that that entails. I'm keen that this part of my life doesn't turn me into a polo neck wearing sad bastard but I am enjoying it immensely, despite the lack of sleep. When you get married you become validated as a couple and it seems when you have a child you feel validated as a grown up, someone worthy of a child and deemed responsible enough to look after it. It's a good feeling. Despite the lack of sleep.

It brings me on to a horrible subject from the news over the last two weeks. The case of baby P who was tortured by his mum, partner and lodger. It wasn't just a case of malnourishment or neglect; it was actual torture. I would have been shocked before but since having Jake it actually made me feel nauseous to read about it all. The worst thing is that a jury or judge wouldn't be able to find anyone of these arseholes guilty of delivering the final blow which killed the baby and therefore they cannot be charged with murder. I have a friend who works in adoption and the process is very lengthy and onerous as you would expect and it's terrible to think that perfectly wonderful childless couples have to go through hell to adopt but fucked up evil people like this are able to procreate and abuse their children under the noses of the social services. I'm a little right wing and for most people I think prison is a decent punishment as it gives them time to regret although I can never decide if I'd like to see some eye-for-an-eye retribution delivered. So I have to weigh up the fact that, whilst satisfying, this would end the suffering of the perpetrator whilst the victims families continue to suffer, against the cost of keeping them in prison. In this case, however I'd happily throw the last stone and see these monsters ended for good. And if that makes me as bad as them so be it.

On to happier things now as Jake's official head wetting takes place this weekend. I love this tradition. Just as Valentine's is a commercial opportunity which hides behind a tradition of love, a head wetting ceremony is purely an excuse for blokes to get away and get lashed up. I'm sure there's tales of yore which involve the child being present and wine or similar is poured over the its head to ward off the evil spirits or something but let's not clown around here, we're going out to get pissed! Anyway I'm looking forward to it but am slightly nervous as it's an early start and although I like a drink I haven't got properly drunk in almost 3 months so it could get messy.

Jake is now almost 13 pounds, double his birth weight. Good boy!

Jake's new best friend

Henry Willem Smith was born at 2.30pm on the 11th of November to Rob and Milly. Congratualtions to all three of them. He weighed in at a very respectable 8lbs 10oz and mother and baby are doing well. It's great for Jake to have a friend round the corner and I'm sure those two will get up to all sorts.

They're shortly to be joined by another little boy or girl from Weybridge when our friend Julia gives birth and then next February, the three of them will have another friend in baby Tulloch. I can't wait until there's a little gang. Growing up my parents had 4 sets of friends who all had a baby girl within the same year, followed a couple of years later by a boy and we had some brilliant Christmasses and holidays together. Also I've known my best friend all my life and we spent as much time together as possible growing up. It always felt cooler to have a best mate that wasn't necessarily someone I went to school with. It me anticipate the school holidays and the odd weekend with all the more excitement. Good memories come from those special occasions and all these families lived quite some distance apart, so to have this lot on the doorstep should be brilliant.

There's also another baby brewing, which I can't mention yet but one that I'm very excited about. This time next year is going to be a very busy and noisy time! Happy days.

I love Jake's t shirt in this picture.

Sleep!

So Jake managed a 6 hour sleep stint the other night. The only problem was that it was from 6pm to 12 midnight...that said however, he proved to us he can sleep for 6 hours at a time. The next sleep was for 4 hours as well which gave us at least one sleep cycle.

We have a clock which projects the time onto our ceiling, have had for years and we've come to rely on it so as if we're away from home, we have to have some source of knowing the time the second we open our eyes. The advantage now is that we know exactly to the minute (the clock is automatically synced with the transmitter at Rugby!) when his last feed was started, when he fell back to sleep and how long he's been asleep. We're pretty sad I guess but we actually wake each other up to express our excitement that he's let us sleep for longer!

He's getting there, the little bundle of wonder.

Last night we took him to his first fireworks display. 'Display' is a little flattering as it was more a sound show due to the intense fog and firework smoke and ultimately the kind of show that the expression 'a damp squib' was designed for. If you care, a 'squib' is a firework of sorts, hence a damp one being something of an anticlimax. Anyway he went and he stayed awake which is very rare for an evening. He normally does his long sleep during our evening, which is good because we get to have a normal time together in the evening but not so good as we never know how long his next period of sleep will be. Anyway as he was awake throughout, we were convinced that this was to be 'the night', the night he slept for 6 hours during the correct period of the night. Predictably he didn't. It was Clare's turn to do both feeds and I woke up during both and was a bit disappointed but reminded myself that he's an eight week old baby and isn't going to do as he's told just yet!

Clare took the little man to craneology yesterday which is good for babies born via the dreaded forceps. They can sometimes get a pain in their necks and lower backs because of the concertina effect of a long labour. It seemed to calm him down and was during the part of the day when he screams for 3 hours at a time. The specialist reckons one more session will do the trick, which will be a welcome relief for Clare who has to deal with the screams before I get home from work to help her out.

He's starting to smile almost daily now and it's just amazing every time. A little feedback goes a long way and one smile makes you forget all about the lack of sleep, the screaming and the poo explosions in an instant. Bless him.

Here's a picture with his new monkey.