Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain

Guess what everybody, it's another episode of the 'Jake's never gonna sleep properly' show.

I have a slight sore throat which is making things worse, but I can honestly say that today is the tiredest I've ever been. So tired in fact, that I don't even care that tiredest isn't a word. It might be but I can't be bothered to check.

Friends of ours had a night nanny for a night when their daughter was about Jake's age and had a similar sleep pattern. It was expensive but I'm seriously considering it. The idea of having a full night of sound, deep sleep is so seductive, I'd give my life savings. If I had any.

Jake was officially a 'shit' all day yesterday, firstly according to Clare's daily report which I get when I come home and then secondly as witnessed first hand. He didn't eat much all day, didn't want his milk, seemed constipated (although not when I checked!) and then slept like a woman going through the change.

Awake, screaming at 1.50am, again at 3am, fed at 3.20am, berserk at 3.50am and eventually slept from 5am to about 7am. So I managed around 4.5 hours of broken sleep and again have woken up feeling like I've died. I mentioned to him this morning that he was 'ruining my life', mainly to get a laugh out of Clare (but perhaps never a truer word than is said in jest) and he smiled at me. The bugger. What is it with that smile which changes my mood so? How can he go from villain to saviour with one tiny movement? It seems that however far he pushes us, how ever much we want to be angry, he can bring us back into line with one solitary action.

I don't know how I will ever successfully discipline him. Last night I watched the second episode in a rerun of series 1 of the Inbetweeners, a very funny show about 4 seventeen(ish) year old lads who don't fit in and follows their adolescent antics. One day they all skipped school, got drunk, called their best mate's dad gay, vandalised another's drive way, puked on a prospective girl friend and ended up getting caught red handed. Sat there taking their lecture, Will (the sensible one) gave an implausible excuse that they were all alcoholics and could only get through the hard times ahead with the love and support of their parents. The father who was in charge of the dressing down tried to continue his discipline but just laughed. That'll be me, I reckon. Not that I want Jake to become a tearaway but as long as he doesn't break any major laws or do anything nasty, I can't see how I'll be able to stay angry for too long. I'm not really a grudge person and I am pretty forgiving anyway but I will have to practice my serious face so it seems genuine when he gets caught drunk and disorderly later in life (like his dad did!).